Flack U.

Possibly the Coolest PR Job Ever

2009-04-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Tired of pitching some lame new "revolutionary" tech product? Have secret a secret desire to live the life of Jason Bourne? Well, USAID is looking for a Communications Coordinator in their Civilian Response Corps.

"The Active Component of the Civilian Response Corps (CRC-A) is a team of first responders with a wide range of skills whose primary responsibilities are to train, plan for, provide direct support to, and conduct USG R&S operations in foreign countries or regions that are at risk of, in, or transitioning from violent conflict or civil strife."

Okay, sound interesting. Now a few of the requirements:

Incumbent may be deployed to remote and/or isolated locations around the world under arduous conditions. If selected for this position, you must be available for overseas deployment within 48 hours for up to 6 months.

Okay, I like travel, but it is just going to be typical flack work, right?

"You are also likely to work long hours, with no R&R opportunities, in isolated conditions and be under personal threat of counterintelligence operations, crime, terrorism, kidnapping, ongoing and intrusive surveillance."

Yeah, but I'll be working out of a secure office, right?

"Deployments may be to the most isolated and restricted overseas locations, including combat zones, and may involve embedding with U.S. or international military or peacekeeping units."

Do I get to travel first class?

"Incumbent will be transported in off-road vehicles, helicopters, military troop transport aircraft, or other types of military transportation and will be wearing/carrying heavy protective, emergency and communications equipment, items of which could weigh up to 40 pounds."

Cool!! Do I need to undergo any special PR training?

"A mandatory training (up to 8 weeks per year) that includes medical first aid, field maneuvers on foot, weapons familiarization, surveillance detection and evasion and evacuation drills"

Calling all weekend warriors and wanna-be James Bonds in the PR world.

I Smell Pulitzer

2009-03-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

Warning: This story from the Washington Post is extremely depressing. It also happens to be one of the finest examples of writing/journalism I have read in a long time.

2009-01-30T11:13:00.000-08:00

Here at Flack U. headquarters in Washington, DC. We are decidedly pro-2nd Amendment liberals. There are actually more of us around than you may think. As you can imagine, we were hopeful that DC would finally let us exercise our constitutional rights following the landmark Heller decision.

Well, this month the MPD published their latest revised firearm registration requirements.

If you don't want to wade through the 13 pages, this is a summary of what you need to do own a handgun in your home.

Take a 5 hr. training course ($150)
Go to MPD and get your paperwork
Go to Maryland and buy a gun
Call the only FFL in DC and arrange a transfer($125)
Go to MPD and get fingerprinted and background checked. ($35 + $13 for the application)
Wait 5 days. Go back again to MPD to get your registration
Go to FFL and get your gun. Pass the NICS.
Go back AGAIN to MPD with your gun for ballistic testing ($12)
Wait until MPD calls you and tells you to pick up your gun

Pretty bad I know. Not the least of which is that going through the process costs $300. Worse is the training requirement. I know that training is a good thing, but remember, this is not for concealed carry (none in DC). This is to keep a weapon in your home. Even DC's grandstanding AG Peter Nickles has said he will likely not be able to defend this in court.

But this is what is really crazy. In order to register a shotgun or rifle, I need to take a 4 hour course on gun safety AND one hour of range time with a HANDGUN. I called a few of the approved trainers and confirmed that, indeed, their courses are focused on handgun ownership.

In supposedly complying with Heller on handguns, the DC City Council has actually made the process MORE restrictive for people looking to buy a shotgun or rifle.

I am sure it is only a matter of time before this, and the other meaningless hoops are eliminated (ballistics testing only works on Law & Order. Maryland wasted $2 million on a similar program). Why could they just not accept the inevitable and do it right the first time is beyond me.

Farewell PC Magazine

2008-11-25T12:24:00.000-08:00

PC Magazine announced that it was ceasing production of its print magazine. I’ve seen a lot of print magazines come and go, but I have to admit, this caused me a little sadness.

I am old enough to remember the days when PC Magazine was the bible for quasi-geeks like me. I used to save issues that way my parents saved National Geographic, or my brothers saved Rolling Stone.

We were a large group composed of non-engineers who none the less were fascinated by technology. It was PC Magazine that taught me how to build my first computer. It was PC Magazine that taught me how to create my first network. It was PC Magazine that taught me how to write that formula to get MS Excel to do exactly what I wanted. We are the same people who thought the original Screen Savers with Leo Laporte was the best show on TV (Where else on television could you find out how to hack password files (in case you forgot yours, of course), copy DVDs (in case your originals were lost in a fire, of course) or make a stun gun out of a disposable camera (um…no excuse for that one other than it was really cool)).

Every week, I looked forward to John Dvorak complaining about Microsoft, video cards, new peripherals, John Dvorak complaining about Microsoft, year end predictions that never materialized, the hottest PC games, and John Dvorak complaining about Microsoft. I also will miss puzzling over why a tech magazine carried ads for a sex pillow and “dietary supplements.”

One of my few regrets in life was when I emailed PC Magazine suggesting that they focus more ink on covering the Internet and gaming. An editor wrote back saying that was a good idea and encouraged me to submit something. Of course, I was too busy/lazy to follow through. Sigh.

Times change, however, and PC Magazine began to lose both its audience and voice. As PC prices dropped, and more technology options became available, people became more concerned with what the box or software could actually do, and less concerned with how to tweak what they already have. Furthermore, I found myself less inclined to read a print review comparing 5 types of video cards when I could go online to compare 25 types.

The core problem for the print version of PC Magazine was that they could not serve the broader consumer market interested in digital cameras and HDTVs while maintaining their core tech audience.

They made a ill-conceived effort to try, however. In the second half of a recent issue, I read about an open port strategy for my router. The first part of the same issue had an article that breathlessly advised me that I “can get a free email account by going to mail.yahoo.com.” Really? Thanks PC Magazine!

The truth is I haven’t subscribed to PC Magazine for many years. The only time I would ever really read it is when I am flying-and I found less and less reason not to leave it in the seat pocket for the next person.

So farewell print version of PC Magazine. You had a good run. Now I just need to figure out what to read on airplanes.

The Worst Press Release in History??

2008-11-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

So how does a company announce bad news like layoffs? Well, Nokia decided an approach where they hoped the reader would fall asleep before they finish reading the first line.

"Nokia Siemens Networks has completed the preliminary planning process to identify the proposed remaining headcount reductions necessary to reach its previously announced synergy-related headcount adjustment goal."

Open eye, insert needle.

Read the full press release train wreck if you dare.

Did John McCain hire the former Iraqi Information Minister?

2008-10-23T10:22:00.001-07:00

Something tells me he did.

A Pitbull in Lipstick!!!

2008-09-11T11:58:00.000-07:00

Councilman Jack Evans Uses Dead Wife to Solicit Votes

2008-08-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting here at Flack U. headquarters in Washington, D.C. and I get a "robocall" from DC councilman Jack Evans, who is up for re-election next month. I stopped listening after the first, poorly read sentence.

"Hi this is councilman Jack Evans. Since my wife died 5 years ago, I know how hard it can be to balance budgets..."

WTF? I've always liked Evans and have voted for him a few times but this is bad.

First, it is in terrible taste. You got some bad campaign advice on this one.

Second, Evans also gets at least $240,000 from his employer, evil DC law firm Patton Boggs. I find it hard to believe that you know first hand how tough it is to keep to a budget.

Exxon Strikes Out

2008-08-05T13:31:00.001-07:00

In PR circles, Exxon has always been something of the “crazy aunt in the basement that no one talks about” as Ross Perot would say. Exxon is arguably one of the worst received brands in America, and they have historically refused to invest any real resources in PR or reputation building. Their attitude has always been one of, "the only PR we need is good returns for our shareholders." And provide returns they certainly do, recently posting the largest corporate profits in US history.

How poorly do people perceive the brand? Well, at a recent Washington Nationals Game I attended, they did one of those silly little quizzes between innings. The person, of course, answered the lame question correctly and as a prize, everyone in the section received a $25 Exxon gas card.

If you think fans living in an era of $4 gas would be appreciative, think again. The jumbotron (the most awesome one in MLB, btw) clearly showed several people glancing at the gas cards and tossing them away, and more than a few boos were heard from the crowd. This company can’t even give away $25!!

Exxon has been making a PR push in the DC area lately. Probably because, despite the little regard as they have for public brand perception, they feel the need the need to build some goodwill among the power brokers.

If there is any positive lesson to be learned for flacks and marketers, it is that Exxon is showing that building a brand’s reputation cannot be done as a one-off measure. You can’t turn it on and off like the lights at Nationals Park (which is rumored to soon become Exxon Nationals Park).

Exxon's dabbling with brand building in DC have not started off well.

For the time being, they will just have to be happy counting their billions.

I am a Luger Liberal

2008-07-31T09:57:00.000-07:00

I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon in the week’s following the Supreme Court’s decision on Heller affirming that the Second Amendment guarantees an individual’s rights to bear arms-the emergence of the “Luger Liberal.”

In responses to the news coverage and posts on DailyKos and other left-leaning blogs, the number of posts that begin “I am a liberal and gun owner…” far outweigh those repeating the same tired, unsupported arguments that we should do more to limit gun ownership.

I used to be pro-gun control, repeating the stats and buzzwords with confidence. That all changed after I first experienced gun ownership, first as something of an experiment, but with an enthusiasm for the hobby.

I began to dig into the stats, and the real meaning behind phrases such as “assault weapons” and “cop killer bullets,” and came to the conclusion that, after more than 40 years of gun control laws, there is not one piece of evidence that it helps prevent violent crime. It also perplexed (and later frustrated) me that members of my own party would do mental back flips to claim that somehow that the Founding Fathers would plunk a collective right down in the middle of a list of individual rights.

I was also surprised at the number of liberal gun owners whom I have met, dashing my stereotype of gun owners as a bunch of red necks or wannabe John Waynes. The Supreme Court decision has given them the confidence to speak out on the issue. I honestly believe that the Democratic leadership is out of touch with the rank-and-file on this issue.

Why this is, I am not sure. Perhaps it is because the anti-gun “latte liberals” are the ones who donate money.

The party has largely chosen to ignore this issue, but now may be the time for a serious look at their position on individuals’ rights.

A Truly Bad (new biz) Pitch

2008-04-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

We all know flacks get hammered for poor pitches, but I recently received one from an agency that could use some work. By way of background, I am a corporate flack with no agency. I am responsible for all of our media coverage. This person at the agency knows this. This is and excerpt of the email pitch I received:

Dear [Flack4Food],

I've noticed that [your company] has not received a lot of traction in the business press. I would like to talk to you about ways that my agency may be able to help.

First, I will argue with him on the business press front. No need to go into details, but let's just say the company has come a long way over the past year or so.

The main point, however, is that when pitching a corporate flack, don't insult him by implying that his/her team is somehow not getting the job done. You should use the same approach I use during media training. No matter how horrific the subject is, I usually say something like, "That was really good. Now let's talk about ways we can make it even better."

A better way for this guy to word the above email would have been:

Dear [Flack4Food], I've noticed that you've received some excellent coverage lately that is impressive for a one-man shop. Have you consider how engaging an outside agency could help you get even greater results? I have a few ideas I would like to discuss with you.

Much better. He flatters me and proposes that he can help me do my job even better. It sometimes can be difficult, but unless you are pitching a brand new VP of marketing, be careful not to fall into the (easy) trap of trashing their past work as a way of building yourself up.

A Day at the Park

2008-04-13T16:50:00.001-07:00

Update-After two more games here, I am feeling better about the stadium. However, those damn parking garages have inspired me to nickname it "Butter Face Park." The $5 day of game tickets are great. The seats are in the nose bleeds, but there are plenty of excellent SRO spots (I like right below the press box).

It is tough to review baseball stadiums. There are so many historical and personal biases, that it is almost impossible not to make comparisons. There will never be another Fenway or Wrigley, where it can feel like you are watching a Little League game-and I have to admit that, although a die-hard sox fan, some of my best game memories are seeing the Sox play at Yankee stadium.

For me, the really difficult thing about reviewing Nationals Park, however, is that there is one aspect that is just so unconscionably bad, and I mean string up the architects, owners, and the (non-existant) D.C zoning commission from the left field foul pole for selling the city a bill of goods bad, that it is hard to see the good things about this stadium—and there is a lot here to like. So for this reason, I’ve broken my review into two sections. The stadium as it fits in the city and the inside the gates experience.

The really, really bad

Hey gang, let’s build a ball park in a location with lots of faux industrial backdrops (ala Baltimore), great water views (ala San Diego and San Francisco) and sightlines to the Capitol dome and Washington Monument (ala no where else on Earth) and then, LET’S NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ANY IT.

Check out this photo overlooking the main entrance from the upper decks.

Doesn’t that look nice? The people streaming in past the brick buildings with the dome in the background? Unfortunately, the photo is just an example of my lame Photoshop skills. This is how it really looks.

Hmm…not quite the same is it. This is how WashPo described the future stadium in 2006:

The ballpark, scheduled to open in March 2008, will offer views of the river on one side and of the U.S. Capitol dome on the other.

Yeah, right. Oh, and that building blocking the view was built by the team owners. They knew about it when they first presented the plans for the stadium touting the great views. Of course, WashPo never took them to task for this.

Actually, you can see the river and the dome from a couple of very limited sight lines in the upper decks, however, when sitting in 90% of the stadium, there is nothing, absolutely nothing that connects you with the city or makes it unique in any way.

After walking around the stadium for a few minutes I came to the realization that this was a cookie cutter design. It was probably on file with the architects, ready to be taken out and dusted off for use in whatever city was to build a ballpark next. Any real views are purely accidental. Shame, shame, shame. Stupid, stupid, missed opportunity that the city is now stuck with.

I won’t go into the views of the stadium itself from the outside. Fact is, you can’t see it very well thanks to two giant parking garages blocking it from view at the main entrance (WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?). There is a nice entrance on the river side with a grand staircase leading you in, but few people will ever walk around there.

The Stadium Experience

Okay, I got that off my chest. Now on to the good. First, this thing is huge. I mean really, really huge. Don’t know if that is a good thing or bad, but I envision the Nats having trouble filling all those seats as the season wears on.

As poor as the sight lines are looking out to the city, they are great for seeing the game. Whether you are at waiting in line for food or just strolling about, you are always close to the action. This is a good trend that should be continued with future stadium designs.

Along the same lines, the best thing about this stadium, in my mind are the open viewing areas in centerfield. The Red Loft bar is great. We spent some time staying dry there during the rain delay and it was a lot of fun. Just get your beer from the friendly bartender, claim a spot at the rail and chat with the fellow fans. The ticked price started to feel more like a cover charge.

They also have a standing room place next to the bar where mom and dad can watch the game while the kids spend their hard earned money in the batting cages near bye. (although part of me thinks that if the ungrateful rug rats don't want to watch the game, then leave them at home. You can see these SRO spots in the pic below..right behind Spencer Tracy

Lots of good food choices, and Old Bay at the condiment stand. It is nice to see Five Guys and Ben’s Chili Bowl there for a little local flavor.

The scoreboard is awesome. The largest in the league and hi-def. I want one for my house.

A couple of things that they may want to work on. First, as you can see from this picture. There was a good crowd there that day.

However, look at the seats behind home plate. Virtually empty season ticket seats. On TV, it gives the impression that the stadium is empty. They should do something like opening them up after the 4^th inning or so.

There is also an issue that can be correct by the Nats marketing department. I like the Nats logo and, until last season the color scheme was red and white. However, they have succomed to the DC design mandate that everything has to be red, white, and blue, and loaded with stars and stripes. At times I felt like I was on the set of Fox News. Come on guys, show some originality not EVERTHING in DC has to be draped in the flag. It diminishes the local presence of the team.

Okay, this has gone on longer than I wanted. The bottom line? If you can get over the cookie cutter design, and total disregard for its environs, the new stadium has a lot to offer.

Why We Lurk

2008-04-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

One of the most common complaints I hear from reporters about flacks is our usual insistence of joining our spokespeople on interviews, whether in person or on the phone. I can understand why reporters don’t like this. After all, if everything goes as it should, the flack will just sit there and do nothing. On the phone, it has to feel a little creepy knowing that there is a third person on the line, monitoring everything that you say.

If more reporters understood why we sit in on interviews, they may come to see it as a value add. Below is my my short-list of “reasons we lurk.”

To keep the spokesperson from getting fired, the SEC from filing action, and to not lose any business. In all honestly about 95% of the interviews I’ve staffed would have gone fine without me present. But the ramifications of the 5% that go wrong can be disastrous. With the exception of the top levels of executive team, it is usually not the interviewee’s job to know ALL the details on what we can, and can’t say publicly. It is, however, my job. Reporters, please understand that a bit of information given by a well intentioned mid-level employee could put him in hot water with the company or even cost him his job (I’ve seen it happen), it could impact the company’s stock (I’ve seen it happen), or result in losing a million dollars in business (I’ve seen it happen). We want to help you with your story, but part of my job is not put an interviewee in a situation that is going to turn out bad for him.

To act as an information resource for the spokesperson. Typically the reporter talks to an expert on a specific topic. My job is to be a generalist. If a reporter is talking to an engineer about a specific project and asks a question about revenue numbers, etc.-the engineer may not know the answer, but I do.

To defend the reporter. I am willing to bet that most reporters don’t know how often we defend them to our execs to try to keep the relationship on solid ground. When an exec does an interview unstaffed and is not happy with the resulting article, the first thing he says is “he took me out of context,” or “he totally did a hatchet job on me.” In cases when an exec says this following an interview I staffed, about 90% of the time my response has been something like “You know Bob, it is tough to think of a “good context” for a statement like ‘We’re not in this business to make money.’ (true story).

To play the heavy. People don’t like to say no. In general they want to be helpful. I’ve experienced reporters playing off this trait by trying to wheedle information out of a subject after he has declined. If the subject starts to waffle, I usually step in. I’d rather the reporter think I was a dick than the interviewee.

For follow up. Often something comes up that requires some follow up. Confirming some number, or forwarding some additional information. In these cases, it is best to hear the request first hand so there is no confusion about what the reporter wants.

To provide feedback. Good spokespeople are always looking to improve. Did they speak too fast? Were they not answering the reporter’s questions directly enough? All this is part of the debrief flacks typically do after interviews. The result (ideally) is a spokesperson who can act as a better resource for the reporter in the future.

Where to buy your SD cards

2008-03-14T11:35:00.000-07:00

Part of me doesn't want to give Newegg.com accolades for this, because it is how every business should run. It is a shame that Newegg is the exception.

I've ordered a lot (for me) from Newegg over the years and customer service has not been an issue since I always got an excellent price and delivery. Recently, I didn't receive an order after a week, although it was shipped online. My tracking number didn't work on USPS.

I pinged Newegg via their online form. Less than 24 hours later, I got this email back saying it seems to have been lost in shipping, and that they've already re-done the order.

Thank you for contacting Newegg.

We humbly apologize for the unfavorable circumstances. After reviewing your account, I noticed that the sales order #XXXXX has been shipped out on 03/07/2008 via USPS. However, we cannot find any tracking information on USPS website either, and seeing as the order should have been delivered by now, we can safely assume it has been lost. In this case we have created an order on your behalf. The order number you may use for reference is XXXXX, Please feel free to check it online at your convenience.

Thank you for your patience and understanding. If you have any further questions or concerns, please click on the link below to visit our FAQs (frequently asked questions) page.

Sincerely,

Lynn Lin

Simple enough, but there was actually several things NE did in this transaction that all add to a solid customer experience.

1. They didn't assign blame (sorta), they just fixed the issue: They blamed USPS but there was no"well we shipped it, follow up with USPS." As a customer, I don't care whether it is NE's fault or not. I just want my order. (The worst in this regard is Comcast customer service who shifts blame to other departments within the their own company and then tells the customer to "call back and ask for billing."--but that's another rant). Shipping problems happen, but the company should should build that into their costs.

2. Fast response: I can't believe I am calling 16 hours 'fast," but such is online customer service.

3. No "we've got your email and will respond at some time" email.--I REALLY hate when companies do that.

4. Issue resolution in one well-written email: 1) I like the whole bow-at-your-feet, "a thousand pardons, Master" submissive tone. 2) I'm sure they use templates, but this has just enough personalization to make it seem real. 3) A real person signed the email. Now, Lynn Lin could be a made-up persona, but come on, would you make up a name like that??.

I'm feeling generous today, so some other folks I've had good customer service experiences are AmEx and Nintendo. Also, if you are going to buy big ticket items, the best companies to order from online are B&H Photo and J&R.

Spitzer's Wallow

2008-03-12T06:21:00.000-07:00

Nothing to say here that isn't being said elsewhere. I was just really proud of the headline I came up with.

Zuck, go back to living in your virtual world

2008-01-16T22:31:00.000-08:00

Some of you may have caught Facebook code thief Mark Zuckerberg on 60 Minutes this week. For those who didn't, let's just say the guy is not ready for prime time. I really have to wonder what his PR team was thinking when they put him out there. I mean, where is the gain for them right now? Yes, they got a black eye on Beacon, but putting this nutmeg on the air wasn't the solution. I can't be too hard on the lad. Not every 23 year old has the where-with-all to go mano-a-mano with Lesley Stahl.....but that is why you think twice about putting a 23 year old CEO in that position when he is obvioulsy unprepared.

The only questions he answered well were the ones about how much money they (don't) make and about the pending lawsuits. The rest of it was just plain bad. It didn't instill the confidence his team was looking for. To Facebook PR-I've media trained dozens of young, startup CEOs since "the day." Give me 3 hours with the guy's undivided attention and I guarentee you will get something better than squirmfest on Sunday. In the meantime, please get the message across to him that if he wants to take the company to "the next level," he has to enhance the skills in his arsenal. I've worked with them all- from geek programmers who got lucky to guys who had little more talent than being able to BS VCs. MOST had the attitude, of "Hey I went from zero to a bazillionaire in 18 months. Don't tell ME that I need help dealing with the media."

Of course, guys like this miss the whole point of media training and got what they deserved. It didnt' take long be people realized the emporer had no clothes (although he did have a 'bleeding edge, game-changing seamless technology). The SMART tech execs out there who are SERIOUS about growing their companies understand that media skills make you stronger, and that when you have an opportunity to learn new skills, you jump at it and take it seriously.

Media training is NOT about "spinning" or presenting a false image of yourself. It is about learning how to accurately (and honestly) present all of the qualities that got you to whatever level you are in the first place. Anyone CAN do a successful 60 minutes interview just as anyone can drive a car. But you have to learn how first. Driving 70 miles down I-95 is not the right time to get behind the wheel for the first time.

RIP Evel Knievel--A Real American Bad Ass

2007-11-30T21:21:00.000-08:00

America has lost a legend. Forget toupee-wearing, born again Chuck Norris and his fake movie punches-Evel was a true American tough guy.

If you doubt it. Check out this video--one of the greatest pieces of video of all time.

Need more proof? From the New York Times.....

In 1977, Mr. Knievel was convicted in California of beating his former press agent with a baseball bat and sentenced to six months in a jail. The agent, Sheldon Saltman, had written a book that Mr. Knievel felt had treated him unfairly.

Ah yes, a guy who just hauls off and beats down a flack. Many have thought it, but so few have followed through.

Google's "RE < C" is < Smart

2007-11-29T13:03:00.001-08:00

UPDATE: As of today (December 1st), it seems you CAN search for (the name of the initiative) on Google and Google Blog search. However, it still returns nothing on Google News.

The week, Google.org, the philanthropic arm of Google, announced a new initiative to promote renewable energy. Worthy enough endeavor, but they inexplicably saddled the initiative with what has to be the worst brand name in recent history.... RE <C.

The first and most obvious problem is that typing "<" keeps messing with my html. It is a pain to fix.

You can't pronounce it: I was going to list various ways to pronounce it, but couldn't even get started.

It's the wrong message: Google says it stands for "Renewable energy is cheaper than coal." I read it as "Renewable energy is less than coal." Shouldn't renewables be greater than coal?

It has zero domain/url potential: bob@re<c.com? I don't think so.

You can't type it: Quick-without looking try to find the "<" key.

YOU CAN'T SEARCH FOR IT ON GOOGLE!!! Go ahead, try it. This is unbelievable to me.

It just _s the fact that some people need it #ed into their heads that that, @ most times, mixing PhDs and marketers is "<" ideal.

Maybe this will convince you to shut the F*** Up!!

2007-11-09T12:48:00.001-08:00

I spend a lot of time on Amtrak commuting back and forth between Flack U.'s campus and exotic destinations like Metro Park and Framingham. Most of that time I spend on my laptop with my Sprint PCS card. I love the train, but it can get boring. Usually, there is at least one person on the train who sees no problem with sharing is cell phone conversation with everyone around him.

When the conversation sounds interesting, I play a little game to see how much I can find out about this person via Google based on the info they are giving out on their side of the conversation.

Yesterday, there was a guy behind me yammering away. The only two bits of info I had was that he was in the PR industry and the first and last name of an employee of his who just quit. It took about 3 minutes on Google and Facebook to find out that the "talker" is president of a PR shop in Florida, he used to be an editor at a major daily, where he lives, where he was born, and where he went to school, his favorite drink, plus a bunch of other stuff. We started chatting later and he began to tell me about himself. My eyes started to glaze over as I thought, "Dude, if you only knew what I know about you."

Good times.

iPhone = SpyPhone

2007-11-09T12:12:00.000-08:00

Yeah, lame title, I know. So yesterday I was sitting at in the audience watching a panel discuss all things digital to a group of Wall Street Bankers. In front of me was was an exec of a not-to-be-named tech company. (hint: they are like Wikipidea, except that they are not). He was banging away on his iphone when I discovered a great new hobby when hanging around these trend setters--password stealing.

It turns out that the iPhone's "exploding letters" are not only useful for letting you know you've actually hit the right key but also makes it a snap for someone near you to steal your email and password. (see picture).

This rocket scientist's password? QWERTY. I guess that is easier to remember than asdfg.

Wii are the Future

2007-06-08T11:04:00.000-07:00

I did something amazing today. After waking up, cracking open my morning Diet Coke, I ran a quick search on Google News to see if anything on my company had popped over night. Why is this amazing?

1. I did it on my living room sofa on my TV

2. I did it on a Wii.

3. Most importantly, I did it because it was the most convenient method of doing so.

I know I am late to the whole Nintendo Wii story, but it took me a while to get one. Yeah, the games are fun, but what really struck me is that Apple, Sony, and Microsoft have been trying for years to bring Internet connectivity into my living room. Whooda thunk it would gamer whipping boy Nintendo to make it happen.

I've followed the media center hoopla pretty closely, yet I still cannot find a compelling reason to take the plunge other than for the fun of setting it up (Yes, I consider that fun). Why would I want to either leave my PC on 24/7 or wait for the lengthy boot up times when I can just plug an SD card or my iPod into my plasma for photos, videos and music.

I should also note that the Internet set up was the EASIER than either my PC or my or PDA.

Internet browsing is by no means perfect, but it is the potential that should get people really excited. The people who scoff at the Wii Internet connectivity are probably already pretty heavy online users. Wii has a tremendous potential to reach an audience who tends to unplug when the day is done.

Here are my suggestions for Nintendo for the next-gen Wiis.

1. Partner with Google and ship with a Wii version of Google Earth. (The device SCREAMS for this).

2. Integrate a thumb-type keyboard into the remote.

3. Continue to evolve the opera browser.

4. Integrate News and Weather into one "globe" interface, and add additional

The 4th Estate at its Finest

2007-03-27T22:13:00.001-07:00

WTF is Up with Time Magazine?

2007-03-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

This is absolutely ridiculous. The European cover story of the April 2nd edition of Time Magazin e is about current Taliban activity in Afghanistan. Check out the cover.

What is the cover story of the US edition? "Why we should teach the Bible in public schools."

Insert your own joke, statement of outrage here.

For another 25 cents, George Lucas will lick the stamp for you

2007-03-18T15:50:00.000-07:00

George Lucas has reached a new level to squeeze, squeeze, cajole, eek every penny out of his Star Wars franchise. No, he hasn't released yet another "collectors edition" DVD set. This time he, unbelievably got permission to deface hundreds of US Postal Service mailboxes to hype a yet-to-be-released set of Star Wars stamps.

Google Gives Reprieve to Porn Surfers

2007-03-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't wistfully look back to the early days of the Internet, when you dialed in to a local ISP from your home phone, used your real email address on at.sex.doorknobs, and stared at the screen for 10 minutes watching the progress bar in anticipation as you downloaded a jpeg of the cast of Baywatch. Well, in an effort to show that they are not THAT evil, Google has taken a small step towards masking our early Internet "curiosity."

Privacy

Geek thumbs up

2007-03-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

After my rant about the Hudson Hotel, I thought I would say something nice about something. Buy a Canon Pixma MP830 all-in-one printer. I got it in my home office and it rocks. You can find it for less than $250 on pricegrabber.

Hudson Hell: Possibly the worst hotel in NYC

2007-03-13T20:03:00.000-07:00

UPDATE 3/15/07: Hotel Guy informs me that the over-priced youth hostel known as the Hudson Hotel is no longer an Ian Schraeger business, but is in fact owned by Morgans Hotel Group, Apologies to Ian.

On a recent trip to the Big Apple, co-worker got a rate for us at the Hudson Hotel. For those of you who are unhip, or actually have a modicum of common sense, the Hudson is one of coke-snorting felon Ian Schrager's properties. He has followed pretty much the same formula with all his hotels. It goes like this:

Hire A-hole staff
Dress them in black (remember they are hip)
Redecorate a room that is the size of a closet with hip features like a funny looking sink
Treat your guests like...unwanted guests. No phony hotel staff smiles here. You see, they are all HIP.
Put a "hip" bar in the lobby and fill with the most desperately needy people since Sex and the City was on the air (of course, they shot a scene here).
Ignore every amenity and service people look for in a hotel. Instead, bank on the fact that there are enough stupid insecure suckers out there who will pay top dollar not because they like the place, but are afraid if they point out that the emperor has no clothes, people might not think that they are hip.

Here is what a stay at the Hudson is like.

First, there is no sign out front to give you any idea that you are actually at the Hudson Hotel. Wow, that is soooo hip.

Imagine it is freezing cold outside and you are lugging a heavy suitcase. Because of the wicked winds, you can barely open the glass door that stands between you and all that hipness. You have to put your suitcase down and use both hands to open it. But get this, not one, but TWO A-hole doorman are standing right there!!! A-hole #1 is outside with you, and A-hole #2 is on the other side of the glass. "Let me explain the concept of DOOR MAN to you. That means you MAN THE DOOR!!!" They just stand there with their arms folded in front them, trying to look like they are part of Snoop's posse. One actually turns his head and looks at me. I could tell he was deciding whether he should actually open the door for me, but I guess he decided that action would detract from his thug hipster posing. "YOU ARE A F****ING DOOR MAN!!!" (although he probably tells people he works "security at the Hudson Hotel").

So you drag your suitcase onto an escalator that, judging by some of the other guests I saw, is way to narrow for a hotel. Note to Ian: people who stay in hotels sometimes have luggage.

You go to the front desk, but the music is so loud that you can barely hear the vapid check-in babe tell you that your Hudson card enables you to get into "all the hotel's facilities" (more on that later).

Up the elevator you go. After meandering down long, dark (re: hip) hallways you get to your room. I am not kidding when I say these rooms are small. I lived in Manhattan in the same neighborhood as the Hudson, so I know small, and these were smaallll. How small?

There is an almost queen bed in the middle and about 1.5-2 ft. of clearance around the bed.
The only way to actually see your full length in the full length mirror is to stand on the bed.
The bathroom is so small that the bathmat does not fit on the floor (I swear to God).

Don't believe me? Take a look at this VR tour from their site. Keep in mind they shot it with a fish-eye lens so it looks even bigger than it is. Notice anything missing?

Hmm...how about a desk? Well, they had to take the desk out or otherwise there would not have been any room for them to turn around. It is not a desk really, just an Ikea-like shelf thing that was as deep as my laptop.

TV? In one of the cubby holes there is a crappy 11" portable on a pull out tray. Looks like a Radio Shack discount deal.

Wall outlets? I could only find one...and it was not underneath the "desk."

Oh, and lets not for get the light switches!! Very, very hip. After feeling up the lamp looking for a switch, I finally found what looks like a plastic toothpick sticking out of the base that you are supposed to toggle. Silly me. In my very unhip world, I am used to little knobs or pull chains to turn out the lights. I thought the battle was done, but it took me another few minutes that the decorative tassel on the headboard is actually the pull switch to turn off the accent lighting behind the head board. I felt like a rat in a Skinner box.

The Hudson Hotel Web site says that the wood-paneled rooms are "reminiscent of a private cabin on an upscale yacht." Laying on the bed, which was just a few inches off the ground, the experience is more like being in a coffin.

You can also see from the VR tour that the only thing between the bedroom and the shower is a glass wall. You can pull a curtain over it if you want, or you can feel like your are working a Times Square peepshow booth when you bathe.

So I go down to the bar for a drink. The Library bar is actually kind of cool....but there is no bar to sit at. Only comfy leather chairs arranged in conversation pits. Nice if you are with a group, but not when you are by yourself.

So I go to the main lobby bar. This is kind of funny. It is separated from the lobby by a glass wall, so you can stand OUTSIDE admiring all the hip beautiful people and longing for the day that your are cool enough to go INSIDE. Oh yeah, that's right, I am a guest at the hotel. So I go over to the velvet rope they have set up inside (again, everything I say here is true). I have on my typical travel clothes, a pair of cords and a casual button down shirt (which I untucked and folded back the cuffs on in a vain, last minute attempt to look hip). I walk up to the rope following a group of very young and very good looking people only to be stopped by A-hole #3. He asks for my hotel guest card! (so much for my attempts at posing). He first says my room key is not enough proof I am staying there, but he then relents and lets me in.

I won't bore you with the details of the bar itself. The dress code at the Hudson Hotel bar is the same as every other velvet rope joint in the city. Men: Dress and act like you can actually afford to be here. Women: Dress and act like a stripper on her day off.

I really hate places like this. There is always a self-congratulatory air about them-as if being deemed hip enough by the minimum-wage bouncer to get in and look at all the less hip people on the other side of the glass is reason enough to celebrate. The thing is, the entire hotel has that feel. I downed one way to expensive Martini (even for NYC) while a very obvious hooker tried to chat me up. Left there, called my wife, and went to Kennedy's, a great pub around the corner for a civilized Guinness.

So that is pretty much what you are in for at the Hudson Hotel. I could actually see the Library lounge and bar as a destination (if it is your style), but as a hotel, it is hell.

DC Ho Watch

2007-03-12T17:56:00.000-07:00

The men in DC are already lining up their excuses as the DC Madam says she has turned over her client list "respected media outlet." Who wants to bet at least one client has a "legal pad fetish."

Bubba Banks the Big Bucks

2007-02-23T07:06:00.000-08:00

Bill Clinton is rolling in dough. He deserves a "Guy Lifetime Achievement Award" for being able to charm the pants off of anyone from portly interns to investment bankers. Of course, the only one he hasn't been able to get through to is Hillary. From the looks of her site, you would never know that she was once married to the leader of the free world. Her campaign folks have branded her as "Just Hillary, thank you." A bold, yet risky move IMHO. On one hand, it steals the thunder from any "Obama for President" play. However, the great irony of Bubba is that the people closest to him are the ones who want to push him away. I guess in the ego driven world of politics, the shadow is just too big. If Al Gore had leveraged the Clinton charm, then the last 8 years could have been very different.

One final note on Hil. This NY Daily News editorial puts the whole "apologize for Iraq" issue in perspective. "

Jet Blues

2007-02-20T10:28:00.000-08:00

The best thing about commenting on companies' public relations work in response to a crisis is that we have the benefit of hindsight. Having been in PR for more years than I care to remember, I know how easy it is to point a finger and say "you shoulda done this."

By all accounts, however, Jet Blue's handling of the recent of the passenger hostage situation has been a disaster-up until now. Today, you can't turn on the TV without seeing CEO David Neeleman on the air doing what he should have done from the beginning-issuing mea culpas and telling passengers what they are going to do to make sure it doesn't happen again. It might be too little, too late, but they seem to be on the right track.

I compare Jet Blue's response with the other Fox-fodder of the past few weeks-namely the tale of diaper wearing murderous astronaut. NASA has a history of atrocious PR. However, I have to give them props for this one. Yeah, it does tarnish the whole "astronaut as superhero" mystique, but by most accounts, it hasn't really done as much damage to the space program that it could have. People seem to understand that this was the work of one whack job. What NASA did right was (fairly) quickly issue a statement of sympathy and followed that up with announced program reviews to better spot the psychos in the astronaut corp. (The one thing that was missing IMHO, was mandatory once a month counseling by non-NASA therapists to prevent this from happening in the first place.)

Top 10 Signs An Astronaut is Trying to Kill You

2007-02-12T06:48:00.000-08:00

Courtesy David Letterman. Being an actual owner of a pen that writes upside down, I think #1 is particularly funny.

Top 10 Signs An Astronaut is Trying to Kill You

10. Says, "This is a giant leap for mankind" as she tosses you off a bridge.

9. You turn on CNN and see the Hubble Telescope focusing on your house.

8. She promises to "take you out like Pluto."

7. It sounds crazy, but you could swear Mars is following you.

6. You were on the "Maury" episode: "I Had a Booty Call and Now an Astronaut is Trying to Kill Me."

5. Her previous attempts to kill you have been postponed due to high winds.

4. She poisons your Tang.

3. Says she looks forward to being the first to walk on your lifeless corpse.

2. Been getting threatening e-mails from Connie@InternationalSpaceStation.com.

1. She keeps stabbing you with a pen that writes upside down.

Apple and AOL: Separated at Birth?

2007-01-31T09:58:00.000-08:00

Like everyone else, I was excited about the potential of the new iPhone. But when you look into the details, the potential problems appear. Consumer acceptance of the "soft" keyboard remains to be seen. Furthermore, Apple seems dead set on ensuring that any content to be used will only come from them. They are also risking losing any enterprise market by refusing to open up network sharing (who wants to carry two phones any more?). Recently, I also had a chance to dig deep into a new 80GB video iPod. While I like a lot of what it does, and damn, it is pretty, I have become frustrated with the lack of file sharing (you can't put iTunes song on your PC without a work around) and how you can't do something as simple as delete a song from your iPod without launching the maddening and intrusive iTunes software. As a dedicated Treo owner, I am used to flexibility to pimp my PDA as I see fit.

I started experiencing a bit of Deja Vu, seeing similarities between Apple and another pioneering tech company that underestimated the sophistication of users. I sincerely hope that Apple does not let history repeat itself, but look at the market path of AOL and Apple to date:

AOL
AOL introduces a breakthrough service that makes it simple for millions of users to get online.

APPLE
Apple introduces a breakthrough product and service that makes it simple for millions of users to download and listen to music.

AOL
As users become more sophisticated, they start clamoring for more content, features, and a better online experience. Local ISPs, free content, and products like Netscape and Outlook start popping up. While they make the Internet experience more complex, moderately tech savvy users realize that these new tools and services enable them to do more online than AOL allows.

APPLE
As users become more sophisticated, they start clamoring for more content, applications and a better online experience. Competing MP3s and online media content, 3^rd party software, and hacks start popping up. While they make media sharing more complex, moderately tech savvy users realize that they can do more with their portable device than Apple allows.

AOL
AOL ignores the growing sophistication of users, the “open” Internet landscape and the advancement of competitors, instead relying on the “simplicity” of their proprietary service and market domination to drive growth by keeping their customers “captive.”

APPLE
Apple ignores the growing sophistication of users, the “open” landscape of media sharing, the demand for 3^rd party applications (GPS anyone?), instead relying on the “simplicity” of their design and market dominance to drive growth by keeping their customers hostage to Apple products and services.

AOL
AOL’s customer base becomes older and younger as users realize they can do more online better, faster cheaper without AOL. The once mighty pioneer AOL becomes a bloated, rotting dotcom whale carcass.

APPLE
To be continued

Oh yeah, Steve Jobs has a secretary named Case. Steve Case has a secretary named Jobs.

"Please state the nature of your VoIP emergency"

2007-01-30T08:09:00.000-08:00

911 availability (or lack there of) used to be a factor with VoIP services such as Vonage. In response, the service providers have put in place a technically complex, but workable solution to guarantee 911 access for subscribers. I wonder how much the 911 system gets inadvertently tested by subscribers following Vonage's voicemail settings instructions for changing their PIN.

From the Vonage site.....

A. From Your Phone

Dial into your voicemail account.
Press 9 for Setup Options.
Press 1 for Mailbox Setup and Greeting
Press 1 for Change PIN.
Enter a new PIN followed by the # key.
Enter the new PIN again, followed by the # key to confirm.

What is this all about?

2007-01-30T06:42:00.000-08:00

I pledge to adhere to the following Manifesto of Truths on this blog:

1. This blog will serve no other purpose than to provide an outlet for my pet peeves, cool things, deep thoughts and inconsequential musings about PR, technology, politics, or whatever else is on my mind.

2. No consideration will be made to enter content to try to appeal to a larger audience.

3. Comments are welcome. I may even read some of them.

4. The accuracy of any statements made here are a matter of chance.

5. This blog will be updated only when the mood strikes.